


Double Crossed

by Lilluv



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Adultery, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Minor Character Death, Modern AU, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2020-07-27 13:29:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 16,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20046814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilluv/pseuds/Lilluv
Summary: Alexander and Eliza are married. But, when a sexy stranger named John becomes Alexander's office mate at work, things may change.





	1. A Change Is Gonna Come

Alex's POV

"I'll see you after work. I love you." I said to my wife Eliza, kissing her on the cheek.

"I love you, too." She smiled as I walked out the door.

I walked to my car in the driveway and got in, then backed out and pulled into the street. A few minutes into my drive, I got to a red light that was notorious for being long, so I pulled my phone out of my laptop bag and opened Facebook. I scrolled through until I heard a horn honk behind me, so I pumped the gas.

When I finally got to work, I pulled into the parking lot and walked into my building, the New York Post headquarters. I rode the elevator to the fourth floor where my office was.

As I walked into my team's meeting room that leads to my office, I saw a man I didn't recognize. He was sitting facing away from me, so all I could see was the back of his head. He had long, brunette and curly hair that was in a ponytail behind his head, and was wearing a gray sweater.

"Thank you for joining us, Hamilton." My boss, George Washington said. He was sitting at the head of the table.

"Sorry, I'm late." I replied, going to sit down at my usual spot at the conference table, which just so happened to be next to this man. "I overslept." As I sat down, I looked over and saw the man's face. He had hazelnut colored skin with hazel eyes, and freckles all over his face.

"Long night with the missus, huh Hamilton?" Lafayette, who was sitting across from me, suggested.

"Oh, shut up, Lafayette." I said.

I looked back at the man who was sitting next to me. I gazed into his hazel eyes, and almost got lost in them. I suddenly became very aware of the wedding ring on my left hand. I toyed with it on my finger as Washington introduced the man.

"Everyone, this is John Laurens. He will be joining our team." Washington explained. "He previously worked for a California-based paper before moving out to New York."

"Hello." Laurens said. I smiled just a little. He had a soothing voice.

"How about we go around and introduce ourselves?" Washington suggested.

Lafayette, Who was sitting to Washington's left, started. "Hi, I'm Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette." He recited, and everyone around the room snickered. "But you can call me Lafayette."

Next, Jefferson, Who was sitting to Lafayette's left, went. "Hello. I'm Thomas Jefferson."

"James Madison." Madison, who was sitting to Jefferson's left, said next.

Next, Mulligan, who was sitting to Washington's right, and my left, said. "Hercules Mulligan. Nice to meet you." He reached over me to Laurens, and they shook hands.

"Alexander Hamilton." I said next, holding out my hand for him to shake it. When he did, I blushed a little.

"Well, then. Let's get started." Washington said, and all eyes were on him again as we started our meeting.

XXX

John's POV

At the end of the meeting, I stood up from my seat at the same time as the man next to me, Hamilton, I think. I knew the guy with the really long name mentioned he was married, but _god _he was hot. I accidentally bumped into him as I stood up.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I said.

"No worries." He smiled as he picked up his laptop bag.

"Hey, Umm, Do you mind showing me around the office?" I asked him.

"Sure." He replied, then gestured to the room we were in. "This is the conference room, but we work out here sometimes to get some air. There are way more windows in here than in the offices."

The room had a long table with eight chairs around it in the middle, the one we just had our meeting at, a coffee station in the corner, and a whole wall of windows. The view was of the parking lot, but the natural light was nice.

Next, he gestured around to the four doors lining the walls. They each had two names on the front, except for one.

"This first one is Washington's office." He started, pointing to the one on the far right. "Then mine, and I wasn't sharing with anyone before, so I guess it's also yours, then Mulligan and Lafayette's, and then Madison and Jefferson's."

"That's a lot of names to keep straight." I joked.

"Well, the names are on the doors, so that helps." He suggested nicely as he led me into our shared office. I grabbed the box of work stuff I had brought with me as we walked towards the door. Inside, there were two large desks pushed up against and facing each other, both covered in papers.

"I would've cleaned up in here if before if I knew I was getting an office mate." He said, moving all the papers off the desk on the left over to the right.

"It's cool." I said as I looked around the rest of the small office. Hamilton was right about the light. There were no windows in this office at all. Once he cleaned off the desk, I put my box down and started unpacking. It was mostly work stuff. Writing supplies, laptop, stuff like that, but I also had a picture of my pet turtle. I smiled as I put it down on my desk.

"What's the picture of?" Hamilton asked.

"My pet turtle." I replied, turning it around so he could see it. "His name is Bubbles."

"That's so cute." He laughed. When he did, I blushed a little. His laugh was kind of sexy.

I sat down and turned on my computer, then opened my email to find my first assignment from Washington. As I was reading it, Hamilton asked, "So, why did you move from California?"

"I got tired of all the drunk people." I joked. "I lived in San Francisco, and my apartment got robbed on a weekly basis. I needed to get out of there, and I always wanted to come to New York, so I decided, what the hell? Why not?"

"Well, that's always a good reason to move." He laughed.

"Have you lived here your whole life?" I asked.

"No. I moved here when I was nineteen from the Caribbean." He explained. "Both my parents died, and I just wanted a change of pace."

"Well, me moving across the country sounds sane next to you moving to a completely new country." I laughed.

"Yeah, I guess so." He laughed with me. "Welcome to the team, Laurens."

"Thank you, Hamilton." I smiled. I was happy to know I would have friends here.


	2. Losing My Religion

Alex's POV

I pulled into the driveway to find Eliza's car was gone. She almost always got home from work after me, so I wasn't surprised. She worked an hour away from home as a first grade teacher, while my office was only fifteen minutes away.

I walked up to the house, unlocked the door and went inside, hanging my keys on the hook beside the door. I then went up the stairs and up to my office, and pulled my laptop out of my bag and started working again.

I worked until I heard the door open again, and heard Eliza walk in the door.

"Alex?" She called.

"In the office." I replied, calling down the stairs.

"Come downstairs! I've got a surprise for you!" She called. I saved my work and put my computer into sleep mode, walking out of the office and down the stairs to the kitchen, where Eliza was placing a large plain paper bag on the kitchen table.

"What's that?" I asked.

"You'll see." She smiled, reaching into the bag and pulling out two pink boxes. She opened them to reveal two chocolate frosted doughnuts with sprinkles that were bigger than my head.

"Oh my god." I said. "Is that from the bakery on seventh?"

"Yep." She smiled. "And..." she reached into the bag again and pulled out a bottle of champagne.

"Champagne and doughnuts?" I asked. "Are we celebrating something?"

"I just felt like having doughnuts and champagne." She smiled, going to the silverware drawer and pulling out two forks. I went to the cupboard and got out two wine glasses.

"Why did you get two of these?" I asked. "We could split one and still have leftovers."

"Yeah, well. Maybe I'm super hungry." She said, taking a huge chunk off one with her fork and shoving it in her mouth. I laughed and poured champagne into both glasses and took them into the living room. Eliza followed with the doughnuts and forks. I sat the glasses down on the table and sat down, picking up the remote. She put the boxes down and sat down next to me, and I put my arm around her shoulder. As I turned my head to kiss the top of hers, I pictured Laurens. I don't know why, but I did. I pictured it was him in my arms, his head I was kissing. I quickly pushed the image out of my head.

_It's just temporary lust. _I tried to convince myself. _It will go away._

I leaned forward and ripped off a chunk of my doughnut with my hand and shoved it all into my mouth, making Eliza laugh.

"How was work today?" She asked, taking the remote out of my hand and turning on the TV, and started clicking through channels.

"A new guy joined our team." I said. "His name is John."

"Oh, that's cool." She said. "What's he like?"

"I don't know him well enough to say." I lied. I felt like I knew him pretty well for only meeting him this morning, but I didn't want her to think I liked him. I was devoted to my wife, and some hot guy wasn't going to change that.

XXX

When I walked into work the next morning, I could feel my heart pounding. I knew that what I felt, or thought I felt, about Laurens... John? Laurens? I didn't know what to call him... I knew my feelings were wrong. I was married, for God's sake! I took a vow to love and cherish my wife forever. But I just couldn't shake the feeling that was pulling me towards this man. I mean, I know I'm bisexual. Eliza knows it, too. It's not like I'm hiding that from her. It's just that hiding this... it feels like cheating.

As I walked into the conference room that connected all of my teammate's offices, I saw it was empty, so I walked towards John and my office. As I crossed the room, I found myself getting more and more anxious. I wasn't sure what I wanted more - for him to be there, or not.

When I opened the door, I found an empty office, and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. But I still wasn't sure if it was out of relief or not.

I sat down at my desk and pulled out my computer, turning it on, then taking a sip out of the coffee mug that was sitting next to my laptop. When I did, I scrunched up my nose. The coffee I drank was from yesterday.

As my laptop was booting up, I went back into the conference room and to the coffee station, then took a coffee pod out of the holder and placing it into the Keurig, and dumped out my old coffee in the adjacent sink and placing the mug under the machine. As I pressed the start button, the conference room door to the hall opened, and Laurens walked in.

"Hey." He greeted, scanning the room. "Anyone else here?"

"Not sure." I replied, watching as my coffee cup filled.

"How long have you been here?" He asked.

"Not long." I replied. "I went to drink my coffee when I was turning on my laptop, then I realized it was from yesterday, so I came out here to make more."

"Ah." He said, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw him walk towards our shared office. "See you in there."

"Yeah." I said, absent-mindedly, still watching my coffee cup fill. When it finally did, I picked it up and took a long sip of it. Eliza thought black coffee was gross, but I thought cream and sugar just diluted the effect of the caffeine, which was the point of coffee in the first place, so what's the point?

As I walked back into the office and placed my mug down, I saw Laurens sneak a glance inside.

"Black coffee?" He asked.

"Yeah. What's the point of coffee if you dilute the caffeine?" I explained.

"I feel the same way." Laurens laughed, taking the lid off his travel mug he brought to work with him to reveal black coffee.

"My wife thinks it's gross, but whatever." I laughed with him, but at the mention of Eliza, Laurens stopped laughing and focused on his laptop.

_What does that mean? Was he flirting just now? _I asked myself. _Guess I'll have to wait and see._


	3. Here Comes the Flood

John's POV

I unlocked the door to my apartment and threw my keys, computer bag, and coat on the chair next to the door. I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, grabbed a water bottle, closing the fridge, then went to the couch. I sat down and grabbed the remote and clicked on the TV, and mindlessly clicked through the channels. Truth be told, I wasn't really paying attention. All my thought were on Hamilton.

Yes, I knew he was married. Yes, I knew he probably would never return my feelings. Yes, I knew he probably wasn't bi. But... still. That wasn't going to stop my imagination from running wild.

All day during work today, I was focused on Hamilton's lips. I couldn't even get any work done. I was just looking at his lips. The way he bit his lip when he was reading. The way he chewed oh the back of his pencil while he was thinking, even if he wasn't writing. The way he wrapped his lips around his coffee mug when he drank. It was intoxicating.

A loud bang coming from the hall brought me back to reality. I got up off the couch and walked into the hall towards the door. When I got there, I encountered my very drunk alcoholic roommate, Aaron Burr, walk into the apartment, half empty bottle of whiskey in hand.

"Aaron, what the hell?" I asked as he stumbled into the living room, collapsing into the couch and taking a swig from his bottle. I pried it out of his hands.

"Give it back, Johnny." He said, trying to get up off the couch and grab the bottle from me, but I held it up over my head and pushed him back down on the couch.

"Aaron, what did we talk about before?" I prompted.

"Uh..." He trailed off, staring at the wall.

"Remember how I said that if this ever happened again I would kick you out?" I explained.

"Uh... oh!" He said. "I want chips." He laughed, getting up off the couch and stumbling into the kitchen. I placed the whiskey bottle on the coffee table before following him into the kitchen.

"Aaron... Aaron. Come on." I said, putting my hands on his shoulders and guided him back to the couch, sitting him back down. I walked back into the kitchen and put a coffee pod in the coffee pot, the pressed the 'brew' button, and put a mug under the spout. Once the mug was full, I took it out from under the coffee mug and returned to the living room, intending to give it to Aaron. When I walked back in, I was surprised to see that he was gone, along with the bottle he brought in with him.

"Aaron?" I called into the silent apartment, and I heard a faint giggle coming from the direction of the hall closet. I followed the sound, then opened the door to see Aaron sitting on the floor, again drinking from the bottle of whiskey.

"Give me that." I demanded, holding my free hand out to take it from him like he was a small child holding something they shouldn't have. With a defeated look on his face, Aaron handed me the now empty bottle, and I placed the coffee mug in his hand. He took a sip, then scrunched up his nose.

"This is really bitter." He complained.

I smelled the lip of the bottle I had taken from Aaron, then scrunched up my face. "Yeah. No more bitter than this." I commented, then grabbed Aaron's free hand and pulled him up off the floor and led him towards his bedroom in the back of the apartment.

"Come on. Let's sleep it off." I said, opening the door to his bedroom and depositing him in his bed. I took his shoes off and put them on the floor at the foot of the bed and took the coffee mug from his hands and put it on his bedside table, then draped a blanket over him and left the room, closing the door behind me.

I walked back out into the living room and sat down on the couch, reflecting on my history with my roommate. We were friends in college, and then got an apartment together after we graduated. I didn't really notice the signs of his alcoholism until we lived together. He would come home wasted every single day, at varying times. Sometimes it was as late as three in the morning, and sometimes it was as early as nine am. I was honestly shocked that I didn't see the signs in college, but, to be fair, everyone got drunk all the time in college, so I guess I just didn't notice it. A few years after we moved in together, Aaron got a sponsor who dragged him to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, and he sobered up. He was good for a long time. I mean, he fell off the wagon a few times, but he always managed to pull himself back up out of the gutter. But, over the past month or so, he just couldn't seem to sustain more than twenty-four hours sober. I wasn't really sure what happened to his sponsor, but they weren't doing a very good job.

I pulled myself out of my thoughts, picking up the remote and going back to absent-mindedly scrolling through channels on the still-on TV. I just couldn't seem to focus on anything today. First, it was Hamilton, then it was Aaron. I just didn't know what I was going to do anymore.

Deciding to make up some of the work I didn't get done today, I got up off the couch and walked back towards the door, then grabbed my laptop bag. I walked to the back of the apartment towards my room and sat down at my desk and pulled my laptop out, determined to push all the distractions away and get work done.


	4. These Ties That Bind

Alex's POV

I focused on my coffee in my mug as Washington went on and on about the paper layout. Every week he made a big stink about how the layout needed to be 'new' and 'different' and 'exciting', but every week we ended up doing the same thing that we've been doing since before I got here.

"...or we could try to put the pictures in the center of the page instead of off to the sides." Washington finished.

No one spoke up. It was a bad idea and everyone knew it. I glanced at Laurens, who was looking down into his lap, where he was pulling at his fingers. I glanced around at the rest of the table, and none of them were looking at Washington.

"Umm, Mr. Washington..." Laurens tried, and I shared a glance with Lafayette across the table. This wasn't going to end well. "Why don't we just stick to the layout we have? It seems like it works."

Washington took a deep breath, obviously trying to compose himself. He wasn't one to freak out, but we've all been on the business end of a few of his explosions over the years, and we all knew how bad they could be. Poor John hasn't been here long enough yet to know how to tell when it's one of Washington's bad days, and didn't know to tip-toe around him then, no matter how much he hated it when we did.

"Laurens, don't." I leaned over and whispered to him, just loud enough for him to hear. He shot me a confused glance.

"How about we continue this meeting later." I suggested, and Washington grunted before getting up and walking into his office. I rose to follow him.

I walked in and closed the door behind me as Washington sat down at his desk.

"Do you want me to call Martha?" I asked.

"I'm fine." He said hardly. "Just leave me alone."

"Ok." I responded, leaving his office to see everyone but Laurens going back into their offices. I went and grabbed my things from the table and took them into my office, and Laurens followed me and sat down at his desk.

"What was that about?" He asked.

"Umm..." I started, gathering my thoughts while sitting down at my desk. "A few years ago, he had a breakdown at work, and now we try to keep him calm on his bad days." I finished, biting my lip.

"How can you tell when he's having a bad day?" Laurens asked.

"There are some signs..." I explained. "Just some small tells we've noticed over the years. You'll learn them, too, at some point, if you're here long enough." I looked up at him, and he was looking at the floor, blushing a little. I wanted him here, as a friend, but the attraction I was feeling... he so desperately wanted it to feel wrong, but... but why did it just feel so right?

"...Hamilton?" Laurens said, pulling him out of my mind.

"Yeah. What?" I asked, totally lost.

"You good?" He asked.

"Uh... yeah." I replied. "I think so."

"Are you sure?" Laurens asked, reaching his hand across his desk onto mine, holding it out for me to take. I reached my hand across and placed mine in his, and he squeezed it.

I smiled. "Yeah. I am."

XXX

John's POV

When I got home that night, all I could think about was Hamilton. _Again._

I'm not quite sure why I reached my hand across my desk today for him to take. I'm not sure why he took it. I mean, I knew he needed a friend in that moment. He looked sad and alone. I know he's married and that we can't be any closer than friends, but I would rather be friends with Alex and wish that I could be with him than not know him at all. It's not like I had a choice, either. He and I share an office.

I looked at the time on my phone, and noticed that I had been home for an hour, and all I had done was sit on the couch and think about Hamilton. There were things I needed to do.

I reluctantly peeled myself off the couch and walked into the kitchen. I dragged the trash can over to the fridge and pulled it open, sifting through for rotten food. As I did, I came across an old case of beers in the back of the fridge that I didn't remember buying. I took them out and walked over to the sink, dumping all six down the drain before putting the bottles in the garbage. Aaron was trying to get sober again, and the last thing he needed was alcohol to tempt him while he was trying to do that.

I walked back to the fridge and looked through for more old food, and as I did, my mind wandered back to Hamilton. Just watching him bite his lip today while he was talking... it was undeniably sexy. I know that's not what he was going for. He was probably just nervous, or upset. But it was sexy none the less.

I heard the door open to my apartment, and Aaron called out.

"Hey, John." He said.

"Hey." I called back. "I'm in the kitchen." I grabbed a stick of string cheese out of the fridge then closed the door, walking out towards the foyer. As I did, I heard another voice, a man. Aaron must have brought home a friend or somthing.

When I got out to the foyer, I was shocked to see who was standing there.

"John, this is a friend I met in AA." Aaron introduced. The man looked up, and there was a shocked look on his face, probably mimicking my own. I dropped my string cheese when I saw him.

"Laurens?" The man asked.

I just gaped. "Jefferson?"


	5. What Have I Done To Deserve This?

John's POV

"Uh... Hi, Laurens." Jefferson studdered, clearly taken by surprise.

"I... Uh... didn't know you were in AA." I tripped over my words as I spoke.

"I try to keep my personal life private at work." He said simply.

"You two know each other?" Aaron asked.

"Uh... yeah." I said.

"We met at work." Jefferson explained.

We stood there in an awkward silence for a moment before I finally spoke up.

"I... have stuff to do. Good seeing you, Jefferson." I said, walking away towards my room, leaving my string cheese on the floor, before either of them had a chance to say anything else.

I layed down on his back in my bed, pulling my phone out of my back pocket, and opening up my work emails, and composed one to Hamilton.

**To: ** _Hamilton, Alexander_

**From: ** _Laurens, John_

**Subject: ** _Jefferson_

_I know this is weird in an email, but we never exchanged numbers._

_Did you know Jefferson was in AA? My roommate is in it, and he showed up in my apartment after a meeting._

_Send me your number?_

_-Laurens_

I hit send on the email, then rolled over to lay on his stomach on his bed. By the time I was comfortable again, Hamilton had replied to my email.

**To: ** _Laurens, John_

**From: ** _Hamilton, Alexander_

**Subject: ** _Re: Jefferson_

_No, I didn't know that. That's so weird! My number is 555-5555_

_-Hamilton_

I added Hamilton's phone number into my contacts, then immediately started texting him.

**Me: ** _Hey, Hamilton, it's Laurens. It totally is weird!_

**Hamilton: ** _I never would've suspected._

**Me: ** _Ik! Me either_

**Hamilton: ** _Did you just use the abbreviation 'ik'?_

**Me: ** _yeah...?_

**Hamilton: ** _Damn. I would've thought better of a writer._

**Me: ** _lol_

**Hamilton: ** _Here you go again with 'lol'! You're a writer, for God's sake! Have some respect for the English language!_

Then I just started sending him a million emoji's, which made him even more pissed off. I knew it was all a joke, which made it all so much funnier.

Hamilton and I spent an hour texting about anything and everything, and then eventually we ended up talking on the phone all night. It was really nice, and the next morning, I had no idea how I was going to focus at work that day. Not only from the lack of sleep, but from starting at Hamilton... Alex all day.

XXX

Alex's POV

I walked into work the next morning, the largest coffee sold at Starbucks in my hand, exhausted. When I got to my desk, I basically fell into my desk chair, and almost fell asleep right then and there.

"Hey." Laurens... John? John... said as he came in our office. "Tired?"

"Yeah." I said, taking a long swing of my coffee. My phone buzzed, and I got a text from Eliza.

**Eliza: ** _I'm staying home today. Got sick overnight. Saw u didn't come to bed last night. U ok?_

**Me: ** _Yeah. I was up late working. I have a deadline today that I was behind on._

**Eliza: ** _k c u at home. Luv u_

**Me: ** _I love you, too._

"Everything ok?" John asked.

"Yeah. Just my wife letting me know she's staying home sick from work today." I explained.

I thought back to the last text I sent Eliza. All it said was _I love you, too_, but for some reason, I hesitated before sending it. I hate that I feel that way, even for a split second, but I did. And it killed me.

John got really quiet. He was looking down into his, presumably empty, coffee mug with a troubled expression on his face.

"Want me to got to the coffee cart with you?" I suggested.

"Sure." John replied, and he and I walked into the main room of our office.

We stood at the coffee cart in a heavy silence before I said, "So... about last night..."

"What about it?" John asked as he poured his coffee.

"Umm..." I said, trying to bring up how I felt hesitant to tell my wife I love her without actually saying I might have feelings for him. "I... I don't think that can happen again."

"What can't happen?" John asked. "All we did was talk."

"Yeah, but..." I tried to think of an acceptable excuse. "We're too tired for work today. We shouldn't stay up all night again."

"Oh." John laughed. "Yeah. It's probably not a good idea to do that again."

"Yeah." I laughed nervously.

John and I turned around and walked back to our office, and once we were sitting down, I turned my full attention to my laptop, and the work that I had to do. I couldn't spend the whole day thinking about John.

XXX

"Eliza, I'm home." I called when I walked into the house after work.

"In the living room." She called, and then coughed after. I hung up my coat and put my laptop bag down on the floor, and walked into the living room to see Eliza sprawled out on the couch, used tissues all over the floor and the TV set on low.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, crouching down in front of her on the couch.

"I'm ok." She replied. "Better than I was this morning."

"Good." I smiled. My instinct was to kiss her, and I leaned in to do so, but I hesitated. I was thinking about John again.

She must have picked up on it, because she asked, "You ok?"

"Yeah." I replied, kissing her nose, and making her giggle. "I just don't want to get sick."

"Ok." She said.

"Do you need anything?" I asked, standing up.

"I have my crappy TV and tissues. I'm fine." She said, holding up the remote in one hand and the box of tissues in the other. I laughed, kissed her forehead, then walked out of the room.

As I grabbed my laptop bag and headed up to my office, I couldn't help but feel guilty. The worst part was is that I wasn't guilty about hesitating before kissing Eliza. I was guilty about kissing her.

_You're not with John. _I thought to myself. _You aren't, and you love your wife. So stop being an ass to everyone in your life and get it together._


	6. Physical Attraction, Chemical Reaction

John's POV

I was laying on my stomach on my bed, scrolling through the text conversation Alex and I had about a week ago, that night we stayed up all night talking. I know it shouldn't, but it made me happy reading them. It gave me... comfort. Warmth.

"Hey. Wanna go see a movie?" Aaron asked, knocking on my bedroom door. I jumped out of my skin when I saw him.

"Uh... no. I'm good." I replied.

"Are you ok, man?" Aaron asked. "Your not yourself lately."

"No, no. I'm fine." I assured him. "Just distracted with... work."

"New job kicking your ass?" Aaron laughed.

"Y-yeah." I studdered. It wasn't the job... it was the people. But he didn't need to know that. Or why.

"You sure you're ok?" Aaron asked, skeptical.

"Yeah. I'm sure. I just don't want to see a movie." I said, and Aaron nodded, then walked back into the hall.

"How many days you got?" I called, assuming he was still in earshot.

"What?" He asked, walking into my doorway. Before I could clarify, he said. "Oh, uh, seventeen."

"Good." I smiled, temporarily taking my focus off my disaster of a life. "I'm proud of you, man."

"Me too." He smiled, then walked back out the door. I turned my attention back to my phone, going back to reading my texts.

_This isn't healthy. _I told myself. _He's married, and you don't have a shot here. So you have to stop._

I put my phone down and turned to lay on my back. As I layed sprawled out on my bed, I pondered my situation.

_I like a guy who's married. He's married, and probably not even interested in guys at all. If him being fucking married wasn't proof enough that he's not interested, him being married to a god damn woman should be._

"Ugh." I groaned, getting up off my bed. This wasn't helping. If anything, it was just making things worse.

I walked to the front door and opened the hall closet. I grabbed my coat and shrugged it on. I needed a drink, and I wasn't going to get that here. I needed to go to a bar.

XXX

I stood outside the gayest bar in the city, handing the bouncer my ID. When he nodded and handed it back to me, I went straight for the bar.

"Three shots. Tequila." I asked, sitting down at the bar. The bartender nodded and put three shot glasses on the bar in front of me and filled them with tequila, then nodded. I shot him a small smile in thank you, then threw one back.

As I was finishing my last one, a man who had back hair with gray flecks in it sat down next to me. He had to have at least fifteen or twenty years on me.

"Can I buy you a drink?" He asked.

"Sure." I smiled. I know this should make me uncomfortable, but in this moment, I could care less. I just needed to get away. He signaled for the bartender to give us another round, and the two of us started talking.

"So, what's a pretty boy like you doing here all alone?" He asked.

"Oh. Uh... I just needed to get away." I audited vaguely.

"Away from what?" The man prompted. "Boyfriend? Husband? ...Wife?"

"No, no. Nothing like that. My life is just a mess is all." I said.

"Well, lay it on me. It's not like I've got anything better to do." The man said.

"I don't make a habit of telling strangers all my secrets." I said, throwing another shot back.

"I'm not a stranger if you know my name." The man said.

"Then what's your name?" I asked, putting my elbow on the bar and leaning my head on my hand.

"You first." The man insisted.

"John." I answered.

"Andrew." The man replied. He held out his hand, and I shook it. He gestured to the bartender for another round, which was promptly placed in front of us.

A few rounds later, I was starting to feel floaty and giggly. So, when Andrew started kissing me, I thought _What could go wrong?_

He and I sat on the bar stools, almost ripping each other's clothes off then and there.

"Hey. Take it outside." The bartender said, banging on the bar and shooing us outside. We were giggling messes as we stood up.

He and I left the bar hand in hand. He called an Uber on his phone and as we waited for it to arrive, Andrew planted a very suggestive kiss on my lips, letting me know that more was to come when we arrived at his place.

When the Uber finally arrived, I could feel a familiar tightness in the jeans I was wearing. The drive to his apartment was admittedly not that long, but it felt like an eternity.

His lips were on mine as soon as his apartment door was closed. I started unbuttoning his shirt as he directed us towards his bedroom, never breaking the kiss.

As he pulled my shirt over my head, breaking the kiss for less than a second, I couldn't help but think about Alex.

I know I'm not with him, but I also couldn't help but feel like I was betraying him in a way. I felt no emotional attraction to this man, just lust. But, for some reason, it just felt so right, in this moment here. I think I need this. Just some meaningless, slutty sex.

We burst into his bedroom, and he laid my down on his bed. As he started to trail kisses down my neck, I turned my attention back to my here and now. I couldn't focus on anything else.

I just needed to forget about Alex.

I just needed to feel free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to admit, writing this chapter really pissed me off. I mean, I needed to stay true to my characters, and this is what John needed to do, but still... This seriously pissed me off.


	7. Two Against One

Alex's POV

John walked into work the next morning with sunglasses on, and wearing the same clothes he was wearing the day before. He didn't even have his laptop.

"Uh... John? Are you ok?" I asked.

"I'm fine." He snapped, then groaned. He was definitely hungover.

"Are you sure?" I asked cautiously.

"Yes." He said, softer this time, probably to keep his headache at bay.

"I was just wondering... because you're wearing the same clothes you were wearing yesterday." I pointed out.

John huffed as he clicked on the desktop that everyone had on their desk but never used, and took off the sunglasses and put them down on his desk.

"John..." I tried again, and he didn't seem like he was going to cut me off this time. "Look, I care about you, and I just want to make sure you're ok."

When I said I care about him, I saw somthing flicker in his eyes. He stood up and rounded our desks so he was standing in front of me. I was prepared to get punched or somthing when he grabbed the collar of my shirt, pulled me out of my chair, and crashed his lips into mine. I was surprised for a moment, and then I leaned into the kiss.

_No! No! _My brain screamed. _Say no to this!_

See, the thing is, I knew it was wrong, but it just felt so right.

When John pulled away is when I finally came to my senses. "John... we shouldn't." I said.

"Yeah, you're married... I know." John lamented.

I thought it over for a moment. "I said shouldn't. Not can't." I smirked, and John looked up at me with a small smile on his face. This time, I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him closer to me, and pulled him in for another kiss. This time, all my thoughts of Eliza melted away.

John walked us back and pushed me up against the wall, and I took one arm from around his waist and wrapped it around his neck, pulling him closer to me.

As John started to kiss down my neck, I pushed him away. "Wait."

"What?" John asked.

"N-nothing. Never mind." I stuttered, then leaned back in.

"No, what?" John said, pushing me away.

"Really. It's nothing." I said.

"No, tell me." He insisted.

"I... I want you, John, in more ways than one." I started, and he smiled, "But... it scares the hell out of me that I do."

"I'm not going to pressure you into anything," John responded. "If you want to take this slow, we'll go slow. Or, if you want to stop all of this right now and pretend it never even happened, we'll do that, too. It's completely up to you."

"Well, What do you want to do?" I asked.

"Well..." John said, blushing, "I've wanted to jump your bones since the first time I saw you. The only reason I didn't was because..." He trailed off.

"I'm married." I breathed.

"Yeah." John responded in the same tone.

"Look, don't think I don't want this, because I do." I smiled. "But I think I need some time to work some things out for myself before we do. Because... if we do this now, it'll just confuse me even more."

"Ok, that's totally fine." John smiled, kissing me gently on the lips for a few seconds before pulling away. "We won't do anything until you're ready."

XXX

I couldn't get any sleep at all that night. When I was laying in bed, Eliza's head on my chest, it just made me even more conflicted. I love my wife, I really do. I just... there's a part me, I think, that maybe... loves... John a little bit, too? I think the things John said in our office today confirmed that for me. I honestly don't know. I never thought I could love two people romantically at the same time, but here I am, laying in my bed, wishing for John to be here beside me, along with my wife, and for it all to be ok. But I know Eliza. I know she's straight, and that's the end of that. She's not bi, she's not poly... she would never be ok with John entering our relationship... right? Ugh. Having an affair is so damn hard.

Eliza started to stir, and then eventually woke up. I looked at the clock, and it said it was three am. She must have seen it, too, because she said, "What are you doing up?"

"Uh... just some work stuff I can't get out of my mind." I said, and that wasn't a lie. I couldn't get any work done yesterday, and now I also couldn't stop thinking about when I was going to make it up. Also, this wasn't the first time I lost sleep over work.

"Ok, well, just try and forget about it." Eliza said, trying to soothe me like she did every time I was lying awake at night. "Forget all your troubles, and just focus on your breathing. In... out... in... out..."

I breathed in time to Eliza's voice, and I eventually fell into a light, but welcomed, sleep.

XXX

John's POV

I had a hard time falling asleep that night. I couldn't keep my mind off of Alex.

He had to think about it. I get it. I totally do. He wouldn't be him if he didn't spend time thinking about it. But... was it selfish that I wanted him to just want me? I don't know. It probably was. Hell, it _definitely _was. He's married, and he should think about it before... before what? Cheating? Starting an affair? I don't know what that would be considered. Whatever. I just needed to get some damn sleep.


	8. Got To Be Real

Alex's POV

I took a deep breath before entering my office the next morning. John wasn't there when I opened the door, which was a blessing and a curse. I needed to talk to him today, but I also didn't know if I was ready yet. I just didn't want him to catch me off guard.

I checked the time on my phone. It read nine oh seven. He was usually here by nine thirty. Twenty three minutes. I could do this.

I turned on my laptop and opened my email to find today's assignment. I clicked on it to find a seventeen page PDF titled _What Catches a Reader's Eye - All About Newspaper Layouts _and groaned. I knew there was absolutely no way I was getting through this today, even under normal circumstances.

I glanced at the clock in the corner of my computer screen, and saw it had only been two minutes since I last checked. I sighed as I turned back to the article on my laptop.

"I guess I should start reading." I groaned into the empty office.

XXX

When I got back from my lunch break, John still hadn't shown up. I was only halfway through the article Washington had sent to me, even though I had been attempting to read it for the past three hours. I was reading a paragraph, then staring at the clock for a few minutes, then staring at John's desk. Then I would repeat the process. Washington asked me to take notes about what may have been useful to us in the article, but the notes I were taking on the pad of paper next to me were sloppy, illegible, and made absolutely no sense. I sighed as I tried to read them. Nothing I had written was helpful at all, and I wasn't retaining any of the information I was reading, so I knew I would have to go back and re-read the whole thing. I sighed, and attempted to get back to work.

XXX

I had to stay late that night to finish reading and taking notes that actually made on the article that Washington had sent me. I usually left at five, but it was seven by the time I left my office. It was so goddamn boring, and waiting for John to show up all day just made it so much harder. I knew I should have given up on him arriving when he wasn't there by lunch, but I still found myself glancing at the door every time I heard a noise in the main room.

When I got in my car, I decided to do something bold.

XXX

John's POV

I woke up with a start when I heard my phone ring, and looked at the clock on my bedside table as I went to answer the call without looking at the caller ID. It read seven pm.

"Hello?" I said into the phone.

"Hey... John? It's Alex." I heard through the speaker, and I shot up with a start.

"H-hey, Alex." I stuttered.

"I noticed you didn't show up to work today. Is everything ok?" He asked, and I could hear the sounds on New York traffic on the other end. Alex must be in the car.

"Yeah..." I said. "I'm fine. Just sick." I wasn't lying, either. Last night, after what happened at work, I got so worried about it that I actually made myself sick. I woke up this morning with a one hundred two degree fever, and a terrible bout of nausea. I never actually threw up, but I knew I probably would if I had to face Alex at work today.

"Oh, are you ok?" He asked, and I could hear the concern in his voice.

"Yeah, just a fever." I replied. "But it's gone now."

"Good." He said, and I heard a car horn honk, then muttering. "Stupid fucking New York traffic."

"How 'bout you? You ok?" I mused, listening to what was going on in his car.

"Ugh. I just hate traffic, you know?" He sighed.

"Yeah, yeah I do." I said, laying back down in my bed.

"Washington gave me this article today about newspaper layouts that was seventeen pages long!" Alex started. "And I couldn't focus on it because it was _so damn boring_. Anyway, I had to stay late to finish reading it and taking notes on it, and now I'm stuck in standstill traffic, and I just want to be done with this day!"

"Where are you?" I asked out of the blue.

"Corner of seventeenth and Connecticut." Alex responded.

"Do you want to come over to my place? You're only a block away." I said.

"Aren't you sick?" Alex asked, skeptical.

"My fever broke an hour ago." I responded.

"...I don't know if that's such a good idea." Alex said in a small voice.

"Look, it's obvious you need a break, and we don't need to do anything more than hang out. As friends." I smiled.

"Ok." He sighed. "What's your address?"

"One eighty-seven Connecticut road, apartment three-B." I responded.

"Ok. I'll be there in a few minutes." He said.

"See you." I responded before hanging up the phone and jumping out of bed. I needed to get dressed.

XXX

As I was pulling a shirt over my head, there was a tentative knock at my front door.

"I got it!" Aaron called from the living room, and I rushed out to see Alex and Aaron giving each other a weird look at the door.

"Hey, Alex." I said, and the weird look disappeared when he looked over Aaron's shoulder at me "What's going on?"

"Nothing." Both of them said at the same time, and Aaron turned around and walked back to the couch, a pissed off expression on his face. I just shrugged and invited Alex in, then led him immediately to my bedroom.

"What was with that?" I asked as we sat down on my bed.

"What?" Alex asked.

"That weird look you two were giving each other. There was a strange vibe there." I said.

"Oh, we used to work together is all. We never really got along." Alex brushed it off.

"Oh, ok." I replied.

After a few beats of silence, Alex said, "So... we should talk."

"Yeah." I replied, unsure of where to start.

"So... about yesterday..." Alex trailed off, took a breath, then started talking again. "I love my wife. I do." Alex started, and I felt my heart shatter.

_What the hell? _I thought to myself. _It was one kiss. Get over yourself._

"But that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy what we did yesterday." Alex continued, but I refused to let myself get my hopes up. "I do want to do more of that, I do... but I know that it's wrong... and I just need you to know that I can't leave my wife... not yet, anyway."

"I respect that." I said, grateful for the compromise.

After a beat, I asked, "Does that mean I can kiss you?"

"Yes." He smiled, then we both smiled as our lips crashed together.


	9. Original Sin

John's POV

I walked into work a week later, closing and locking the office door behind me as I had been doing every time I arrived since Alex and I talked last week. We knew that the likelihood of us getting caught was slim, but we didn't want to take any chances.

I walked over to Alex's desk and placed down the coffee that was in my left hand - large black coffee - on his desk, and placed a kiss on the top of his head. As I put down my coffee and laptop bag on my desk, Alex stood up from his chair and walked over to me. He put one hand on my cheek and his other on my waist, pulling me in for a long kiss. He pushed me up against the wall as I pushed my hands up the back of his shirt, gripping his shoulders inside his shirt.

"Mm. Good morning." I said, breaking the kiss.

"Good morning." Alex smiled back, placing a quick peck on my lips and squeezing my ass before letting go and walking back to his desk. As we sat down, he picked up his coffee and smirked as he took a sip, effectively making a blush spread across my cheeks and down my neck.

I pulled my laptop out of my bag and placed it on my desk, opening it, and pressing the power button. I took a long sip of my coffee as I waited for it to start up.

"Where did you get the coffee from?" Alex asked. "This definitely isn't Starbucks, considering it actually tastes good."

"Hey, I like Starbucks coffee!" I laughed, and he shot me a dirty look before I continued. "I got it from this place on the ground floor of my apartment building. It's called Central Perk. I had never tried it before today."

"Why not? I mean, it's on the ground floor of your building." Alex pondered, typing something into his computer.

"Uh... I guess I just never thought about it. I mean, there's a Starbucks two blocks away."

"You seriously need to get over your Starbucks addiction." Alex reprimanded, then went on. "There was Chinese this place on the first floor of my old apartment building, and I swear to God I ate there four to five times a week every week during the two years I lived there. If I never see another Chinese takeout box again, it'll be too soon."

"Ugh. I hate Chinese food." I said. "I got food poisoning from it once when I was little, and then I never tried it again."

"I would say you should, but the thought of it makes me nauseous." Alex laughed, then looked down at his computer screen. I could tell he was reading by the way his eyes were flicking back and forth across the screen, and he was biting his lip. I let out a small laugh at the sight. (Others may have characterized it as a giggle, but I was already sleeping with a married man. I wanted to reserve _some _of my dignity.)

"What?" Alex asked, looking up from his work.

"The way you bite your bottom lip when you read. It's sexy." I laughed.

"Is it now?" Alex asked.

"Yes." I smirked, pushing myself up from my chair and going over to sit on Alex's lap, straddling him. I grabbed his face in my hands and kissed him hard on the lips. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling my hips closer to his. We couldn't hear it, but someone was jiggling the doorknob.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

"Meeting!" I heard Mulligan's confused voice from outside the door. I quickly jumped up off of Alex's lap and we both grabbed our computers before unlocking the door and walking into the main conference room.

As we sat down at our usual seats and got situated, I saw Mulligan lean over and whisper something to Alex. His response was too quiet for me to hear.

I discreetly leaned over to Alex. "What was that?"

"He wanted to know why the door was locked. I told him there was no reason."

I took a deep breath as Washington walked out of his office and sat down at his seat at the head of the table, and he put his laptop down in front of him.

"Ok, let's get started." He said, folding his hands and placing them on the table in front of him.

I bit back a sigh. We had a morning meeting every day at ten o'clock, and was the same shit every day. What articles are we going to write. Who's going to write said articles. Which ones should have pictures. Where are we going to get those pictures from. The list goes on and on and on. I decided to make things interesting.

I placed my hand on Alex's upper thigh under the table where no one else could see, and he shot me a confused glance before looking back at Washington. I kept a smirk from crossing my face as slowly moved my hand up.

By the time the meeting was over, my hand was too high to be considered his leg anymore, and Alex's face was beet red.

"Are you ok, Hamilton?" Jefferson mused.

"Yep. Fine." Alex replied curtly, shrugging off my hand and standing up, then making a beeline for our office. I bit back a snicker as I followed him.

"Oh my god." He laughed as soon as the door was closed and locked. He walked over and slapped the side of my head. "Jerk."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." I said, grabbing his hand as it fell. "Now, where were we when we were so rudely interrupted by that meeting?"

"Well, I think I was sitting in this chair." Alex said, crossing the room and sitting down at his desk chair.

"Yeah, and I think I was sitting _here_." I emphasized, going back to straddling him in his chair. "And this..." I started kissing him again, and it was pretty safe to say neither of us got any more work done that day.


	10. Guilt

Alex's POV

"I need to get home." I said again to John, laying in his bed, his arms lazily wrapped around me. I had been laying in his bed with him for an hour, and that was after an hour of other activities after work. Eliza was going to get suspicious if I wasn't home soon.

"Five more minutes." John mumbled into my ear for the fifth or sixth time, making me blush. Again.

"I would stay if I could." I added, still not moving.

"Then stay." John whispered, kissing my neck. "There's no reason for you to leave."

"But there is." I sighed. "And I really do need to go home now." I reluctantly climbed out of John's arms and got out of the bed, then put my clothes on and started towards his bedroom door.

"Wait!" John said, hopping out of the bed and pulling his own clothes on. "I'll walk you out."

"Ok." I smiled, kissing him again before opening the door. "Let me just use the bathroom before I go."

"Of course." He smiled as we entered the hall, and I walked into the empty bathroom and flicked the lights on, closing the door behind me. I examined myself in the mirror, checking to make sure I didn't have any hickeys or anything like that. When I was satisfied with my _very normal_ appearance, I turned back towards the door and opened it. Before I walked out, I heard voices drifting from the other room. I stopped and listened to what they were saying.

"Isn't he married?" Burr's voice drifted in from the living room, as well as the low sound of something on the TV.

"I don't know what you're talking about." John said with a level voice.

"Oh, come on, John. The walls are thin. I could hear exactly what you guys were doing in there." Burr followed up, and then I heard a scoff, presumably from John.

"I'm just trying to look out for you." Burr added.

"Well, you don't have to." John said. "I'm perfectly capable of handling a relationship on my own."

"I know you are." Burr started, and I heard some shuffling, then footsteps, assuming someone getting off the couch or something. "But I just want you to think about this for a second. He's married. He's never going to love you as much as he loves his wife, and he's never going to leave her for you. You're just going to end up heartbroken. The sooner you accept that, the better."

"Whatever." John said.

"This guy is bad news, John."

"Look, I don't know what happened between you guys, but I don't feel like hearing about it." John practically screamed, and that's when I chose to exit the bathroom and walk back into the living room, effectively silencing both men.

"Ready?" John asked, a smile crossing his face when he saw me.

"Yep." I smiled, heading towards the door, and John followed. He kissed me goodbye before I opened the door, which made me smile.

XXX

When I arrived back home, Eliza was in the kitchen cooking dinner. Normally the mere sight of her would make me smile, but, right now, after being with John, she just didn't seem like enough.

"Hey." She smiled when she saw me, quickly walking away from the stove and kissing me on the cheek before going back to her cooking.

"Hi." I replied cooly, though she didn't seem to notice my tone. "What's for dinner?"

"Meatloaf and homemade mashed potatoes." She said.

"My favorite." I smiled, all, or, well, most, of my thoughts of John melting away.

"I just got started on boiling the potatoes, so it will probably be another hour or so until dinner is done." She informed me, messing with one of the knobs on the stove and putting a lid on a pot.

"Ok." I said, hovering at the bottom of the stairs with my laptop bag in hand. John and I don't really get much work done at the office anymore, and I needed to get some things done before dinner.

"Had to stay late again at the office?" Eliza asked, going into the fridge and pulling out a stick of butter.

"Uh... yeah." I lied. "I actually still have a few things I need to wrap up. Washington's been laying it on thick lately."

"Ok." She replied obliviously, putting the butter in the microwave. "I'll call you when dinner's done."

"Ok." I replied absentmindedly, going up the stairs towards my office.

As I sat at my desk, trying to get some work done, I found that I couldn't focus. I felt bad lying to Eliza. I never really felt bad about what I was doing until I saw her, a real-life person that I was affecting and hurting. My wife. And the worst part was that she didn't even know.

I put my head in my hands, and ran them through my hair, trying to relieve some of the stress I was feeling. I thought about calling John to talk it through with him, but I knew that would just be wrong. I can't call the man I'm having an affair with to complain about how I feel guilty about my affair.

"Ugh." I groaned out loud, banging my head on my desk. Over and over, banging my head. For whatever reason, it made me feel better. I mean, I would have a bruise on my forehead later, but it helped me forget my troubles for a minute and just focus on the pain spreading from my head and all around my body.

"Alex? Alex! What are you doing?!" Eliza screamed, running into my office and grabbing my shoulders, sitting me up.

I just sat there silently, unable to talk. I just couldn't handle... _existing_... at this moment.

I looked up at Eliza, who was staring at me with a concerned gaze.

"I'm sorry." I said as I stood up from my chair, grabbed my phone, and walked down the stairs and out the door.


	11. Much too Much

John's POV

"Alex?" I asked when I opened the front door of my apartment. "I thought you had to go home. And what happened to your face?" I said, pulling him in the door and examining the dark purple bruise on his forehead.

"I... I needed to get out of there. I didn't know where else to go." Alex explained, clearly in a daze.

"What happened?" I asked, leading him to the empty couch. Aaron left right after Alex, so the apartment was empty otherwise.

"I don't really know." He started, staring at the wall. "I got home and saw Eliza cooking dinner in the kitchen, and we had a quick conversation, then I went up to my office to get some work done, and I... I don't know. I just needed to get out."

"What happened to your face?" I asked, lightly brushing the bruise on his forehead, making him shutter and turn to me.

"I... was banging my head against my desk..." Alex admitted, looking at me, then the floor.

"Why?" I asked sweetly, putting my hand under his chin and pushing his face up so he was looking at me.

"I think I needed something to think about that wasn't my life. The pain helped."

"Oh, Alex," I said, leaning towards him. He did the same, and our lips gently touched. I felt him melt into the kiss, putting his hand on my hips and pulling me closer, effectively deepening the kiss.

Reluctantly, I pulled away, putting my hand on his chest.

"Why did you need to get out?" I asked, and he sighed.

"I don't know. I just couldn't handle being there at that moment."

"It's ok." I consoled, pulling him closer to me. "Everyone needs to get out at some point. It's not just you." He smiled as I placed a kiss on the top of his head.

Alex and I sat there in silence for a few minutes on the couch before I grabbed the TV remote and clicked it on, flipping channels until I found an old re-run of _The Office_. I soon heard Alex's breathing slow as he fell asleep, and after a few minutes, I joined him.

XXX

Alex's POV

I woke the next morning to unfamiliar surroundings and terrible pain shooting through my back. As I slowly blinked the sleep out of my eyes, I recognized John's living room. I looked up to see his arm around me, and I smiled.

_I wouldn't mind waking up like this every morning. _I thought to myself, then suddenly became very aware of my wedding ring on my left ring finger. It felt like a weight that I just couldn't ignore.

I looked up at the still-on TV, where some weird infomercial was playing for a vacuum or something. The clock on the cable box said it was five-thirty in the morning.

I cautiously dug my phone out of my pocket, being careful not to jostle John too much and wake him up. I wasn't exactly surprised by the notifications on my phone screen when I turned it on.

_5 Missed Calls from Eliza_

**Eliza:** Alex r u ok?

**Eliza:** Pls tell me ur safe

**Eliza:** I dont need to know why u ran off. Pls just tell me ur not dead in a ditch somewhere

**Eliza:** Im going to bed. Txt me when u get this

**Eliza:** Pls

Her last text was sent at three in the morning. I felt slightly bad knowing that she stayed up that late worrying about me, but a part of me wished that she wouldn't. A part of me wished that I could live my life... with John... in peace.

I unlocked my phone and opened my messages to Eliza.

**Me: **I'm fine.

I couldn't bring myself to write anything else. She definitely deserves more of an explanation, I know that. Just sitting here with John makes me wish that he was my husband instead of Eliza being my wife. It made me realize that I love him... maybe even more than Eliza. And that scared the hell out of me.

I contently watched the infomercial, and eventually crappy early morning television, on the TV until John started to stir at around seven or so.

"Mmm." John groaned, removing his arm from around me and stretching.

"Good morning." I smiled. He looked around, confused before his eyes landed on me and he smiled.

"Did we fall asleep on the couch?" He asked, putting his arm around me again.

"I think so," I said, jumping up off the couch and walking back towards the kitchen. "Do you have any breakfast food? I'm starving."

"Uh... I'm not sure." John said distantly. I looked around to see him heading towards what I would presume as Burr's bedroom in the hall. The door was open.

"Are you ok?" I asked, heading towards him.

"Yeah, it's just... Aaron never came back last night."

Suddenly, the front door burst open and John and I walked towards the foyer to see a very drunk Burr, tequila bottle in hand, stumble into the apartment.

"Aaron, what the hell?" John exclaimed.

"Yo, Johnny boy." Aaron slurred, stumbling his way to the couch.

"Come on, Aaron. Let's sleep it off." John directed, prying the bottle out of his hands then pulling him up off the couch and directing him to his room. He came back out a few minutes later, closing the door behind him.

"I'm so sorry about that." He said, crossing the room towards me and pulling me into his embrace where I was still standing in the kitchen. "He was doing good for a while, but... sometimes he falls off the wagon."

"It's ok," I said, covering up my anger and disappointment. Though, I wasn't surprised. I had seen him drunk before when we... well... I didn't really need to relive that point in my life. High school was a rough time. "Now, seriously. The last time I ate was lunch yesterday and I'm starving."

He walked over to the fridge and he pulled it open. I walked up behind him to see the contents of his fridge consisted of leftover pizza, hot sauce, and mustard.

"So I guess we're going out for breakfast," I said, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Yeah," John said, turning around and kissing me chastely on the lips.

"Look at us. So domestic." I joked.

"Come on. Let's go get something to eat." He laughed, untangling himself from my arms and grabbing my hand, pulling me towards the door.


	12. Invest in Love

Alex's POV

I insisted we leave the city to go out to breakfast.

_"Oh, come on, Alex. You're being ridiculous," John said._

_"No, I'm not," I replied. "Everyone in the city knows I'm married. If they see me out with you... it might get back to Eliza."_

_"Fine," He stated. "We'll leave the city. But you're paying."_

_"Deal."_

So, by the time the car pulled into the diner parking lot, both of us were starving.

The smell of grease and bacon was overwhelming as we stepped out of the car, which was absolutely not helping how hungry I was.

We silently walked into the restaurant and were seated at a secluded booth in the back. Since the restaurant was mostly empty except for the workers, despite the fact that it was breakfast time, I grabbed John's hand on top of the table as we read the menus. I could see a smile cross his lips.

Instead of reading the menu, I watched John's eyes. I got lost in them every time I looked into them. They were so dark brown that they reminded me of chocolate.

John looked up and smirked. I blushed and looked away, then internally scolded myself.

_What are you, a teenager? _I thought. _Get it together man!_

The little spell we had going was broken when the waitress walked up the table.

"Hello." A woman with a heavy southern accent said with a smile on her face. "Welcome to Lulu's Pies. My name is Dawn, and I'll be your server today. Can I get you started with something to drink?"

"Coffe, please," John responded.

"Same," I added. She smiled and walked away, leaving John and me alone again.

I opened my mouth to say something when my phone rang in my pocket. I groaned, making John chuckle, and pulled it out of my pocket to see the name _Eliza _written across the screen. I considered not picking up, but I chastised myself for it and answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Alex," Eliza said over the line, sounding relieved. "I'm glad you're ok. Why didn't you come home last night?"

"I'm sorry, I don't really know what was going on." I lied. "I really just needed to get out of there."

"Where did you stay? A hotel?"

"No, just a friend from work's house," I said, looking John in the eyes. I could tell he was hurt by the term 'friend', but it's not like I could say 'boyfriend'. I shot him an apologetic look and mouthed 'I'm sorry'. He nodded, squeezing my hand.

"Oh, well, ok," Eliza said, oblivious. "Just don't get home too late tonight. I have a surprise for you."

"Ok."

"I love you. See you tonight."

"See you."

I was in a daze when I hung up the phone. What could Eliza possibly be surprising me with? Divorce papers?

_God, I hope so. _I thought to myself without realizing what I was saying. I quickly shook it off. I looked back up at John, and he smiled at me. I took a deep breath and went back to my conversation.

XXX

"So, do you want to come over tonight?" John asked at the end of the workday.

"I can't. I need to go home." I replied as I packed up my laptop. "Eliza said she needs to talk to me tonight."

"Oh. Right." John replied, clearly disappointed. He suddenly seemed very interested in the papers he was shoving into his bag.

"Hey," I said, walking around to his side of the office and put my hand under his chin, making him look at me. "I promise that whatever she says to me tonight won't change anything between us, ok? Because..." I took a deep breath. I couldn't ignore my feelings anymore. "Becuase I love you, John."

He smiled. "I love you, too." He pulled me into a kiss. I quickly said goodbye afterward, walking out to my car. I was grinning the whole way home.

XXX

When I walked in the door, Eliza was sitting on the couch, flipping through a tabloid magazine. She jumped up off the couch and ran around to pull me into a kiss when she heard me come in.

"You're home!" She exclaimed as she pulled away.

"I am." I laughed. "So, what's this surprise?"

"I'll show you in a minute. Come on!" She said, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the kitchen.

"Hold on. Let me take my coat off." I laughed, pulling my hand free.

"Ok." She pouted. She then smiled again and ran towards the kitchen, humming as she went.

_Why am I doing this to my poor wife?_ I thought to myself. _She loves me so much, and she's so happy. So am I... I think. But, then I spend one minute with John and..._

"Come on!" Eliza said, popping her head out of the kitchen door and into the foyer.

"Ok! Ok! I'm coming!" I laughed, shrugging my coat off and hanging it up in the closet. Then, I walked into the kitchen, where I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

"What's all this?" I asked. There was a candle-lit dinner on the table with homemade lasagna - Eliza's favorite - and a small colorfully wrapped box sitting on top of my plate. She picked the box and handed it to me, a huge smile on her face.

"Open it!"

I laughed and shook my head as I pulled the paper off, wracking my brain for what could possibly be inside this little box.

When I finally took the lid off and saw what was inside, I swear to god my hands started to shake. It took all my self-control not to drop it on the floor.

"Eliza...?" Was all I could muster. I didn't trust my voice to say anything else.

Eliza, with a huge smile on her face, walked over to me and put her hands around my shoulders as if we were dancing.

"Alex..." She took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."


	13. The End is the Beginning is the End

Alex's POV

**Me:** _John, I'm so sorry. This just isn't working anymore. You and I are done._

I read and re-read this text over and over, contemplating if I should send it or not. Eventually, I just hit send and got it over with. I knew what I have to do, and that's be there for my wife and child.

"Honey?" I heard Eliza call from our bedroom from my position on the living room couch.

"Coming!" I called, pulling myself off the cushion and dragging myself towards my bedroom.

XXX

I walked into work the next day with mixed emotions. I got to work late today because I took Eliza out to a celebratory breakfast. I let her pick where we went, and she chose the same diner that John and I had been at just twenty-four hours earlier. It was beyond weird. I could tell some of the employees recognized me, too. They were all giving me weird looks while we were sitting there.

When I walked into the office, John was already there. His eyes were red and puffy, and he had three coffee mugs on his desk, all half empty. He looked up when I came in, then looked back down at his work without even acknowledging me.

"Uh... hi," I said, sitting down at my desk and pulling my laptop out of my bag.

"Hi," John said distractedly.

"How are you?" I asked, attempting to dissolve the tension in the room.

"How do you think I am, Alex?" John demanded, looking up at me. The expression on his face was a mix of anger and hurt, and it absolutely broke my heart. "One minute, you're telling me you love me, and then the next you're breaking up with me in a three-sentence text with no explanation, not twenty-four hours after telling me, no, _promising _me, that whatever Eliza told you last night wouldn't change anything between us. So, tell me, Alex, how do you think I'm feeling?"

"I'm sor-" I tried, but he cut me off again.

"No. No. You don't get to talk." He yelled, his face getting redder and redder. "I know that I was just some _side piece_ to you-"

"John, you were never just-"

"-but I deserve to know why you ended it. I at least deserve that from you, you piece of-"

"Eliza is pregnant, John!" I exclaimed before he could finish his sentence. I didn't want to hear what he was going to say because I know it would break my heart. "Eliza is pregnant with my baby."

"Oh," John said in a small voice.

"The reason I broke it off was that this baby deserves a better childhood than the shit childhood that I had," I explained, lowering my voice to a normal level.

"You never talk about your childhood," John whispered, a sympathetic, pitiful look on his face

"Yeah, because every time I do, people look at me the same way you're looking at me right now. And I can't stand it." I took a deep breath, then started to talk about the one thing I've spent my entire adult life trying to forget.

"My Dad got my Mom pregnant while they were in high school. The little piece of shit gave her a hundred bucks and told her 'get rid of it' before skipping town. Instead, she had me right after graduation and immediately got a job waitressing. She was an amazing mother, and I loved her so much." I smiled at the thought of her. "She was the best. She and I were always really close, and when I told her that I'm Bi, she was so supportive.

"Then, I went away to college. When I came back for Thanksgiving break freshman year..." I trailed off, preparing myself for what I was about to say. I had only ever told this story one other time, to Eliza, and it wasn't any easier telling it the second time. I could feel myself choking up. "I found her... dead... on the kitchen floor... with a needle... still in her arm." The last few words came out as sobs, and tears were streaming down my face. I felt John's strong arms wrap around me and leaned into him subconsciously. Even if we weren't together anymore, I needed comfort at that moment.

"Alex," John said, untangling himself from me and crouching down in front of my chair, holding my hands. I blinked my tears away and looked down at him. "I understand why you want to be faithful to Eliza. You want your child to have a better childhood than you did. I understand that. I do. But... they're gonna have that no matter if you're with Eliza or not."

"How?" I asked.

"This baby already has two loving parents." John started. "You and Eliza will both love them unconditionally, whether you're together or not. And... if you choose to be with me, I'll love them too." He smiled, which made me smile. "But, Alex, you have a choice to make. Her, or me." The smile disappeared off my face. "You can't have both anymore. So, either end it with Eliza or end it with me. But whatever you choose... I won't wait around forever."

The room fell silent as John stood up, kissed my forehead, and grabbed his computer from his desk and left the room.

_I have a choice to make. _I thought to myself. _And it's going to be the hardest thing I ever do._


	14. Now or Never

Alex's POV

I paced back and forth in my bedroom the next afternoon, trying to make a decision. I had skipped work and eaten out alone to avoid John and Eliza, but at this point, it was driving me crazy. I needed to make a choice.

_Eliza or John? Eliza or John?_

Making a decision was proving harder than I thought, and I went into this knowing that it would be the hardest thing I ever do. I needed some help.

I picked up my phone and scrolled through the contacts until I got to "L". I clicked on the one on the top and hit "call".

"Bonjour, mon amie!" Laf said cheerfully on the other end of the line. "What's up?"

"I was wondering if you could give me some advice," I said, my voice shaking a little.

"Sure! What do you need?"

"It's a... a little personal."

"My second name is personal." He said with utmost confidence, making me laugh.

"It's middle name, Laf. My _middle _name is personal."

"Whatever. Spit it out, Alex."

I took a deep breath, preparing myself for what I was about to say. The only people who know are me and John, and now I'm about to let someone else in. Am I really ready for this? I have to be. Laf will never let me live it down if I don't tell him.

"So... I've kind of been having... an affair... with John. From work."

"Oh, I know." He responded.

"What?" I demanded. "How?"

"Oh, mon dieu." He muttered to himself. "Alex, it's not that hard to tell."

"What do you mean?"

"You two are always, how you say, making eyes at each other at meetings, and we can hear you through the walls at work. The entire office knows."

"The... _entire office_?" I ask, dumbfounded.

"Oh, s'il vous plaît..." Laf groaned. "Mon amie, you need to get over yourself. Now, why did you tell me this?"

"Because... John gave me an ultimatum."

"What is it?"

"Well, it's more complicated than that," I pinched the bridge of my nose. "So I guess I should start at the beginning."

I told him the whole story. Everything from Eliza being pregnant to John telling me I had to choose. And recounting the whole story... it made me sound like a crazy person.

"So... what should I do?"

He laughed. "Oh, no, Alex. You need to make this decision on your own."

"You can't give me any advice?"

"Fine." He said, and I could hear shifting on the other end of the line as if he was adjusting the way he was sitting. "Just follow your heart."

"You're not helpful."

"You love me." He laughed before hanging up the phone. I groaned and threw my phone down on the bed, quickly following it myself. I covered my face with my hands and groaned again.

"Follow my heart," I repeated out loud, considering my options. I love Eliza. I really do. And it's the right thing for me to stay with her for this baby. No matter what, I will love this baby. But... I love John more than Eliza. For a while, I refused to admit it, and then when I did admit it to myself, it still scared the shit out of me. But spending just one minute with John... it just feels right. In a way that it never did with Eliza. And I _will _love this baby no matter what, and I'm _sure _it will have a good life. I just need to figure out what I want _my _life to look like.

Suddenly, I sat up in bed. I knew what I had to do, and I had to do it now.

XXX

John's POV

I was laying in bed, watching _Friends _(my go-to guilty pleasure TV show) when I heard screaming coming from the other room. I got up and opened the door to hear the voice of Aaron screaming from the foyer.

"Get out of here! He doesn't want to talk to you!"

"Just please let me in." A man's voice pleaded. It sounded like... Alex?

"Just for once please listen to the people around here and _just leave_!"

"What the hell happened between you two?" I demanded, rounding the corner to see a disheveled looking Alex standing at the door, and Aaron blocking the entrance. They both stared at me wide-eyed for a few moments before Alex spoke up.

"John, if we could please just talk-"

"No! I'm not letting either of you move until you tell me why you two can't be civil! Because I'm tired of it!" I exclaimed before noticing that Alex was still halfway in the hall. "Except, Alex, come in and close the door. It's expensive to heat this place." I said, lowering my voice. Alex did as I asked.

"Well?" I demanded, turning the conversation back to the topic at hand.

"We... we met in college." Aaron started.

"We were interning in the same building." Alex continued. "I was working for the newspaper there, and Aaron for the law firm."

"We met in the elevator one day, and instantly hit it off," Aaron added.

"We soon figured out we both going to Princeton and got really close really fast."

"Soon we started to date."

"It was going really well for a while until... until it got ugly." Alex hung his head.

"We both wanted out of the relationship, but neither of us wanted to talk to the other about it, so we just fought. All the time."

"On graduation day, we had a huge fight that got really ugly and really mean. We never saw each other again until I found out he was your roommate." Alex finished. "Now, John, can I _please _talk to you in private? It's important."

"Uh... s-sure." I stuttered, still shocked by what I just heard. I took a deep breath and followed Alex out the front door.


	15. Crazy Love

John's POV

I went with Alex down to the street and to his car. We both climbed in and sat in silence for a few moments before I said, "So... what did you want to talk to me about?"

He sighed. "I had this whole speech planned. I was going to tell you in a huge, romantic fashion, but-"

"Tell me what?" I whispered.

He took a deep breath, then spoke. "It's you, John. It's always been you."

I smiled and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him towards me in a rough kiss.

My hands went to the buttons on Alex's shirt, carefully but quickly pulling them open.

"Mm. Wait." Alex said, pushing me away.

"What?" I asked, bracing myself for what he was going to say next.

"We can't do it in the car. We're not teenagers." He laughed, and I joined him. He buttoned his shirt up and we both put our seatbelts on. When he turned the car on, the radio blasted to life. I laughed when I heard what was playing.

"You were listening to an NBC political podcast on your way to come to talk to me?"

"I needed something to distract me from the fact that my life was about to change forever as soon as I showed up at your door." He responded. "Plus, I want to stay updated on the Trump impeachment campaign. That man needs to get out of office."

"Agreed." I laughed.

As Alex started to pull out of his parking spot, I put my hand on his knee, slowly moving it upward as we made our way across town. Alex's breath got more and more labored as he drove, speeding up as we went.

By the time we got to his house, Alex was a mess. He dragged me out of the car and into the house. As soon as the door was closed, he had me pinned up against it, my hands being held above my head.

Alex dragged me to his living room couch, shedding his shirt as he went. He pushed me down into the couch, sliding his hands under my shirt and running them up my back.

We were both so lost in the kiss that neither of us heard the door open.

"Alex, I-" I heard Eliza start talking, and I pushed Alex up off of me, both of us sitting up.

"Oh my God." She shook her head, then ran back out the door. Alex and I looked back at each other, dumbfounded. Alex raked his hands through his hair.

"John, I-" He started.

"Save it," I said, jumping up off the couch, heading towards the door. "Next time you decide to tell your side piece that you're breaking up with your wife, actually do it before banging the side piece in the house you share with the wife!"

I ran out of the door, hailing a taxi. I couldn't believe Alex. I didn't know if I would be able to come back from this.

XXX

As the taxi pulled up in front of Lulu's Pies, I hopped out, tipping the driver, and walking into the restaurant. I sat down at the counter, noticing a purse and a shopping bag from Baby Gap a few stools down, with an iced tea sitting next to them.

"What would you like, sir?" A waitress came up and asked.

"Uh, just a black coffee, please," I responded. I turned my eyes to the bathroom to see the one person I never thought I would see here walk out.

"Eliza?" I asked as she sat down at the seat with the purse and the iced tea and the Baby Gap bag.

"Huh? Oh, hi." She said. "John, right?"

"Uh, yeah," I said. "Do you mind if I...?" I pointed to the stool next to hers.

"Sure." She said. I scooted the two stools down next to her.

"Uh, what's in the bag?" I asked, trying to strike up a conversation without bringing up the elephant in the room.

She sighed and pulled out a onesie, a tiny yellow thing. It said 'I love my Dada' in black block lettering with a sun on top.

"I was... I was going home to give Alex an ultimatum." She started. "I knew that there was something up with him. He had never acted this way before-"

"Wait. You knew?" I asked, dumbfounded. This was (of course!) when the waitress chose to deliver my coffee. Eliza and I both glanced at her before looking back at each other.

"John, the wife always knows." She laughed, a small smile escaping onto her lips. "Anyway, so I knew somthing was up. I bought the onesie on the way home from work, and I was going to give it to him when I got home. I knew that I would know by his face when I showed it to him if he was cheating or not."

"Eliza... I'm so sorry." I sympathized.

"John..." She sighed. "My marriage was over the minute you walked into Alex's life. And I'm ok with that. I mean, I have to be. I'm having a baby with Alex, so I'm tied to him for the rest of my life. But, John... don't throw away your shot with him because of something so small." She smiled a little. "Just go to him. You know you want to."

I smiled, thanking her, and ran out the door.

XXX

I ran into Alex's house without even knocking to find Alex in a ball on the couch, watching _Grey's Anatomy_.

"Alex?" I said.

"John?" He said, jumping off the couch. I smiled, and he ran over to me, embracing me in a tight hug.

After a few moments of silence, he asked, "Why'd you come back?"

"Actually..." I started. "I talked to Eliza."

"Eliza?"

"I ran into her after I left." I started to explain. "I went to that diner that we had breakfast at a couple of weeks ago, and she was there."

"Yeah... Uh..." Alex started, looking guilty. "We went there the next day together."

"Anyway, we talked," John said, ignoring the small pang of jealousy in his chest about Alex taking Eliza to their place. "She said I shouldn't throw away my shot to be with you because of a silly mistake. So, here I am."

Alex sighed happily. "I love you, John."

I smiled. "I love you, too, Alex."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, ok, I know. Normally I wouldn't add such a cheesy cameo, but I just couldn't throw away my shot to do it. Lol. Anyway, stay tuned for the EPILOGUE! Coming soon to a FanFiction site near you!   
Kisses!   
-Lilluv


	16. Epilogue

Alex's POV

I walked hand in hand with John, his wedding ring grazing my fingers as our arms swung, up the porch steps of my old house. When we got to the door, I rung the bell. There was about thirty seconds of commotion before the door finally opened to reveal a short, curly-haired boy dressed as an astronaut opened the door.

"Happy Halloween Daddy! Happy Halloween, Papa!" Phillip exclaimed, hugging both me and John around our legs.

"Happy Halloween, Phillip." I laughed as John ruffled his hair.

"Are Mama and Mommy here?" I asked, looking around the foyer.

"They're in the kitchen." Phillip responded, skipping into the living room and watching 'It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!'

We let ourselves in, walking towards the kitchen in the back of the house. We overheard Eliza and her wife's whispers through the doorway.

"I don't understand why we need to spend every Halloween with them." Eliza's wife, Maria, said.

"Come on, babe. For Phillip." Eliza said as John and I walked into the kitchen.

"Hey, guys!" I announced our presence. Eliza turned around to face us from her place at the sink, her very pregnant belly slowing down any movements that she made. Her black and white cow costume made her explosive belly even funnier.

"How many weeks until your due date?" John asked.

"Two." Eliza smiled, rubbing her belly.

"I still can't believe were this close to the end." Maria smiled, putting her hand on her wife's belly. John and I smiled and looked away, giving the two a moment of privacy.

"Are you nervous?" I asked after an acceptable amount of time had passed.

"A little," Eliza admitted. "I mean, I know I've done this once before with Phillip, but that was six years ago, so-"

"Mommy! Mama! Daddy! Papa!" Phillip bellowed, running into the room. "Can we go trick or treating now?"

"Sure, buddy." I laughed, grabbing Phillip's candy bucket off the kitchen table with my free hand. Maria picked up the witch hat she wore every year and put it on her head. John and I were already in our costumes - bacon and eggs. Maria thinks its dorky that we do couples costumes every year, but Eliza thinks it's cute. Those two couldn't be any more different, yet they were still perfect for each other.

We walked out the door and down the block, Phillip stopping at every house to trick or treat. John and I admired the decorations as we went. Every house seemed to be more extravagant than the last.

Once we could tell Phillip was starting to get tired, we guided him back to the house carrying his overflowing candy bucket for him. By the time we got back, he was half asleep on John's back, who offered to give him a piggyback ride halfway home.

John and Eliza both went up to put Phillip to bed once we got back to the house, and Maria and I sat in uncomfortable silence in the living room, Maria glaring at me.

"I don't like you." She said.

"So I've heard." I countered.

"You hurt one of the people I love most in this world for a petty, selfish reason, and I don't think I could ever forgive you for that."

"...Ok..."

"But," She sighed. "I've decided to make nice with you."

"Why?" I asked, dumbfounded. In the five years that Eliza and Maria had been together, Maria never liked me. She always would give me disapproving looks or seem pissed off whenever I was around, so this was one of the last things I was expecting.

"Eliza's gonna have the baby soon, and even though you and John aren't going to be her parents, you're still going to be around. And God knows we're gonna need help with Phillip." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "I love that kid, but _god_ he's a handful."

"I hear you." I laughed.

"Anyway," She continued, "There's just no good reason for me to hate your guts anymore."

"...Ok..." I said again tentatively, sensing a 'but' coming.

"_But_... I also will never like you. I just need you to know that."

"Ok," I said definitively this time.

John and Eliza came down the stairs, and I hopped up off the couch, waving to Eliza and Maria as I went. John and I walked out the door, hand in hand.

"So, guess what." I started.

"What?" John asked as we climbed into the car.

"Maria told me that she doesn't hate me anymore."

"Wow." John smiled, and I swear I felt my heart stop. We've been together for almost seven years now and my heart still always stops when John smiled.

"I know." I agreed after I came back to reality.

We spent the rest of the car ride in a comfortable silence, occasionally humming along to the Halloween songs on the radio.

When we finally got home, we got out of the car and sat down to watch TV on the couch.

"What do you want to watch?" John asked, holding up the remote.

"Nightmare Before Christmas," I said without a second thought. John laughed and put our favorite Halloween movie on.

As I snuggled down into my husband, I felt a sense of calm wash over me. I savored it as the opening notes of 'This is Halloween' began to play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! First of all, The Nightmare Before Christmas is the BEST Halloween movie ever, and I will take that to my grave. Secondly, thank you all so much for sticking with me through this story, and a special thanks to HamiltonAsparagus commenting on almost every chapter and just genuinely making me smile. I'm gonna take a break from writing Hamilton for a while since I'm just so busy, but feel free to check out my other stories or PM me if you just want to talk. Anyway, I love you all so much and thank you so much for reading.   
Kisses!   
-Lilluv


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